Episode 14: Navigating Independence and Relationships with Subodh and Aarti
In this episode, we delve into the importance of the diverse representation of autism in media, the critical role of technology in improving communication skills, and the universal struggles with dating, and sibling dynamics. Subodh (he/him) also discusses his participation in the show Love on the Spectrum.
Everything You Know About Disability Is Wrong Podcast
April 30, 2024
Welcome to a special episode of Everything You Know, presented by Easterseals. Today, we've got a truly enlightening conversation lined up with our guests, Subodh Garg and his sister, Aarti Garg. Subodh, a charismatic individual diagnosed with autism at the age of 3, shares his journey towards independence, his exceptional memory, and his experiences with dating and social interactions. Aarti, who plays a crucial role in managing Subodh’s social engagements and safety online, provides insight into their sibling dynamics and the support systems that help Subodh navigate his challenges and aspirations.
In this episode, we delve into the importance of the diverse representation of autism in media, the critical role of technology in improving communication skills, and the universal struggles with dating and social skills. Subodh also discusses his participation in the show Love on the Spectrum, his employment goals in accounting, and his passion for travel. Join hosts Erin Hawley and Lily Newton as they explore these topics and more, offering a broader perspective on neurodiversity and the common human desires for love and connection.
Stay tuned as we challenge the misconceptions about autism and celebrate the diverse capabilities and aspirations of individuals on the spectrum.
Connect with Subodh Garg on Instagram and connect with Aarti Garg on Instagram.
Transcript
Erin Hawley:
Hi, everyone. Well done to Another episode of everything you know about disability is wrong.
Lily Newton:
Today on the podcast, we have autism advocate, world traveler, and you may have seen him on Netflix's hit series, Love on the Spectrum. Welcome to the podcast, Subodh Garg, and his sister, Aarti Garg.
Erin Hawley:
Hello. Hello.
Lily Newton:
Thanks for coming on today.
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Aarti Garg:
Our pleasure. Thank you for having us.
Lily Newton:
This is an exciting episode for me and for everyone because it is autism acceptance month this month. So happy autism acceptance month, Simone.
Subodh Garg:
Happy Autism Acceptance Month.
Lily Newton:
We started this podcast, you know, with the title Everything You Know About Disability is Wrong because sometimes people have odd expectations of what different disabilities are. So for this autism acceptance month episode, I'd love to start out by asking, what do you, Subodh and your sister, what do you have to say about what you want people to know about autism?
Subodh Garg:
Yeah. What do you want to know about people for autism is the study of neurodiversity and the study of brain brain. That's where they have sometimes they have communication ages, but they kinda improve their communications.
Aarti Garg:
What's something that people wanna would be surprised about you to know? What's something that you want people to know about your autism?
Subodh Garg:
I'm gonna say about life. Okay. Like what? Like like, I got everything lined up.
Lily Newton:
Okay. Go ahead. That's awesome.
Aarti Garg:
: Like, can you elaborate?
Subodh Garg:
I got everything lined up for my life because I just broke up with 2 girlfriends, but they're not equal. It didn't work out. But on my on my 3rd try, but I'm going to start dating and end up end up lining up for my life.
Lily Newton:
That's awesome. I think that some people definitely think that if you have autism, you maybe won't have your life lined up like that. So it's good to share that you're you're doing what you want. You're in the dating game. 2 ex girlfriends and on the ready for number 3. That's gonna be great. Erin and I have talked about on a lot of other episodes that, you know, disability doesn't mean that you have a sad or negative life. You have everything lined up and are having a good time.
Lily Newton:
Yes.
Subodh Garg:
I have everything lined up.
Lily Newton:
I love that. That's so great to hear. Aarti, as Samad's sister, what has your experience been like, and what do you wish people knew about autism?
Aarti Garg:
Gosh. It's been such a roller coaster. Smoke is my older brother. He's 3 years older than me, so I I've known nothing else, than being his sister, basically. So my experience is so unique compared to others, in similar situations because the spectrum is so so vast and so diverse. One thing that that I think surprises people about Spod that I've noticed is that he's so social. He loves and he craves and wants to be around people. He wants to have that human connection.
Aarti Garg:
He doesn't like being alone too much. He wants to have a family. He wants to have children. And and also get get proposed, engaged, married, career, and a degree. All these he has these really, common but ambitious goals for his life. I think people are taken aback by that, and and surprised that he that he thinks so far the future, that he's not just focused on whatever is going on now. Everything he's doing in his life now is to is to build his future for himself. And so that self advocacy, I think, surprises people a lot. And the fact that he wants to attend social events, and he wants to connect with people, he wants to get married, all these things are really common human wants, the Mindero typical community, but it's something that he wants too. And I think, I think one of the things about Love on the Spectrum that really was wonderful, and I'm sure we can discuss this later, but one thing that was wonderful about the show is that it brought the the this common human experience for want of connection and love to people on the spectrum, and that was something that had never been done before, really. People on the spectrum were commonly infantilized. They were thought of as children or kids. They were thought to be, you know they were thought of as cutesy and whatever, but but, you know, showing that they want the same things as we do is, was amazing. One of the most amazing things off the show. So I would say just that he want to do things that everyone else does is is to surprise people, but it shouldn't be, but it is.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. It shouldn't be, but that's, you know, that's so often the case of many various disabilities that, like, oh, people aren't surprised that we're human. And, Symone, I I totally relate because I'm autistic as well and feel like people think that that like, if you're autistic, you must be an introvert. But I'm like you. I'm an extrovert. I like I like to have people around. It makes me feel good.
Lily Newton:
: And, you know, you bring up that one of your big goals is does have to do with, like, falling in love and getting proposed to and getting married. Another thing we have in common, so we're both Indian. And I think that's a big part of Indian culture as well is that, like, maybe it's pressure or maybe it's expectation, but that, like, finding your person is a really, important step in adulthood. So I love that you got to kind of share with the world how important that is to you on Love on the Spectrum. So the last time we talked, we were talking a bit about special interests, and you told me that one of your special interests is world geography. How did you first get into world geography, and what do you like to learn about specifically?
Subodh Garg:
For world geography, I like to study about the world cities and the maps.
Lily Newton:
Do you have favorite cities?
Aarti Garg:
What made you interested in in world geography?
Subodh Garg:
I just like to travel across the world, and I'd like to and I'd like to go on airlines.
Aarti Garg:
What age did you start getting interested in world geography?
Subodh Garg:
At, I guess, late 7. 7 years old.
Aarti Garg:
So, yeah, a long time.
Lily Newton:
That's awesome. And you you like the experience of being on airplanes?
Subodh Garg:
Yes. I love airplanes, but then I'm gonna try to earn more miles on the card.
Lily Newton:
Oh, yeah. Miles are important. And, yeah, I sometimes find airplanes a little overwhelming, so I think that's interesting that you really like them. Do you have--
Aarti Garg:
We were, I'm sorry. Just really quick.
Lily Newton:
No. Go ahead.
Aarti Garg:
One thing that my my parents were were that we were very lucky to have is our in our parents is that we've been traveling on planes since we were babies, basically. My parents are both from India. Our parents are both from India, and, we would go to India basically every year since we were kids. And so they got us used to being on planes quite a bit. And the journey to India is so long that there's a layover in between, and so we'd we'd always we'd be on planes all the time. So to us, it was not a big thing. So we're very fortunate to have those experiences and those opportunities as children to really acclimate. And my mom especially made a special effort when we were kids to to expose him to as many things as possible to try to help him, you know, get used to things because it is hard. One of the key hallmarks of autism is difficulty with change, and so --
Subodh Garg:
But not but not things changed a lot.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. Things have changed quite a lot quite a lot. Yes. And so that's something that she did intentionally to help him, and that I think that's really paid off, that that approach.
Lily Newton:
And you think that the experiences you had as a child are helpful? Like, do you think that's how you're better at handling change now?
Subodh Garg:
Yes. I'm better at handling change right now.
Lily Newton:
That's awesome. Yeah. The flight to India is very long. Doing that every year is very impressive. Kudos to your parents for making that happen. My family has only done it a few times because it's it's such a long journey, but it's it's really beautiful. And, it's a wonder that's that's really cool that you've been so many times. You had another special interest you told me about, which was that you really like money management.
Subodh Garg:
I love that.
Lily Newton:
Do you think that has to do with your future goals too?
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Lily Newton:
And I'm learning now. You start learning?
Subodh Garg:
I started learning in 20 2011, but then I got my ABLE account in 2017. So I've been What's that account? ABLE account. Can you explain what it is? ABLE account is something that you save up your money for.
Aarti Garg:
It's a savings account for people with disabilities, that that parents can set up for their children. So it's a special type of savings account.
Subodh Garg:
And, also and I'm learning how to check up for airfares a lot, but then I just check it up.
Lily Newton:
So Oh, yeah.
Aarti Garg:
What is your money management for?
Subodh Garg:
To check up for airfares.
Aarti Garg:
No. In general, why do you manage your money carefully?
Subodh Garg:
So I can save up for my next trip or a free trip.
Erin Hawley:
Nice.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. He he knows that, like, in order to afford a grand trip, he has to manage his money. So once he sets his mind to something, he's very goal driven. He has that goal, and he is he's he has his eye on the prize.
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. It seems like your 2 special interests are very intertwined. Like, the world geography makes you love traveling and then loving traveling makes you want to manage your money so you can travel more. Erin, what were you gonna ask?
Erin Hawley:
So, I want to know, sort of, where do you want to go next?
Subodh Garg:
I prefer to go with I prefer to go with Italy and Australia.
Erin Hawley:
Oh, nice. I love I would love to go to Italy and Australia Yes. And India.
Aarti Garg:
Oh, yeah. So we just got back from India last month. That was our first trip as the 4 of us going together in over a decade. So that was really nice because we've gone piecemeal, like, in different combination of the permutations since.
Subodh Garg:
Uh-huh. But but then I really wound up with Australia.
Aarti Garg:
So yeah. Let me finish. I'll I'll finish talking about the India trip, and then we can continue. Okay? Yes. Yeah. We went, the 4 of us. We had a great time, so then I traveled for 2 weeks and with our parents. We saw a lot of family. Again, it was it was really great. It was nice to go back. But, yeah, now our next next trip on the horizon is is probably Australia. We'd love to go. Yes.
Lily Newton:
What makes you wanna go to Australia?
Subodh Garg:
I really wanna go to see the Great Bayou Bayou Reef.
Aarti Garg:
You wanna explain how you live snorkeling?
Subodh Garg:
I just like snorkeling because I would like to learn how to go underwater.
Aarti Garg:
What do you like about snorkeling?
Subodh Garg:
I just like to use a dry snorkel, a mask, and I like to use flippers, and I would like to be more physical and active.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. Swimming is a great way to do that.
Subodh Garg:
I just like to go underwater.
Lily Newton:
I love being underwater. It's like true one of my favorite things in the whole world. Like, I think I think it has to do with being autistic because it's like the sensory experience of it. But if I'm, like, having a bad day, I can go swim, and I'll it will fix it. Like, I've learned that if I'm having, like, a meltdown, I can go get in water, and it really helps me feel better. So that's another thing we have in common. That's really cool. So that makes sense that you love snorkeling.
Lily Newton:
Have you snorkeled in other places?
Subodh Garg:
I just went to go to Florida in 2023 last year, then I went to go to Candelina Island down to Mexico.
Lily Newton:
Wow. That's amazing. You have a lot of amazing experiences.
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Lily Newton:
That's so cool. You have mentioned a lot of specific dates, and your sister told me the last time we spoke that that's a really great skill you have, that you are, like, really great with dates. Will you tell me about that?
Subodh Garg:
I just I like I like to know, and I like to to know about the dates of the 2000 and the 20 tens.
Aarti Garg:
So you can you name any significant, things, milestones from your life? Any dates that you can name off?
Subodh Garg:
I'm gonna say 10,12,2004.
Aarti Garg:
What what happened that day?
Subodh Garg:
I was just in high school.
Aarti Garg:
What did you do that day?
Subodh Garg:
I just had to study.
Aarti Garg:
You studied? Okay. What's another milestone date? Do you remember the date you graduated from high school?
Subodh Garg:
It was June 13, 2007.
Aarti Garg:
Okay. What about the date you moved to Westwood?
Subodh Garg:
The date that I went to Westwood, that was 9,5,2011.
Aarti Garg:
Okay. And do you remember what day that was?
Lily Newton:
Awesome.
Subodh Garg:
Monday, September 5, 2011.
Lily Newton:
Well, you have a phenomenal memory. Yeah.
Aarti Garg:
It does.
Aarti Garg:
What about the date that you took a trip somewhere? What was your favorite trip?
Subodh Garg:
It was Hawaii in 2008.
Aarti Garg:
Do you remember what day that was that you left?
Subodh Garg:
That was July 3, 2008.
Aarti Garg:
That was your favorite trip.
Subodh Garg:
You got snorkeling there. Right? Yes.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. Yes. Love has a dog memory.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah.
Lily Newton:
Do you remember things from when you were really young too?
Subodh Garg:
I don't remember.
Lily Newton:
Okay, so that makes sense. It's, like, more recent trips, but that's awesome. I don't even remember, like, what the date was last week. It was. So that's amazing. Well, I love we can talk more about traveling later too, but I think that's an amazing both hobby, special interest, and it sounds like it really, like, helped open you up to new experiences at a young age, which I bet has been helpful just in general in life.
Aarti Garg:
Built a great foundation for the way that he thinks that helped him open his mind up to possibilities. Again, that was really given by our parents, a really huge gift that our parents took us to travel so often. We were really lucky that they they took care of us like that.
Lily Newton:
That's amazing.
Subodh Garg:
Cool.
Lily Newton:
That's a recurring theme on this podcast is, me, Erin, and our guests talking about having great parents that, like, really, yeah, especially in terms of not underestimating, you know, like the fact that your mom and dad wanted to expose you to as many things as possible instead of being like, oh, our child is different. We need to shelter him away. I think that's really amazing. And Erin and I both have similar experiences where our parents just decided to, push isn't the right word, but, like, give us lots of experiences and hold us to the same standards they would hold us to if we didn't have our disabilities. So I think that's incredible.
Aarti Garg:
I think that's, like, challenging. The the comfort zone is really, a theme that my mom had and helped us grow as people for sure. So, essentially, yes.
Lily Newton:
Shout out to moms. We've said shout out to moms in, like, 4 episodes now. Yeah. Moms are great. They're so good. Alright. Wanna talk about the next topic?
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Aarti Garg:
I was saying your Famous line.
Subodh Garg:
Red topics. My favorite famous line about topics that I am now a celebrity.
Aarti Garg:
What is that line? No. He says he says change the topic.
Subodh Garg:
I just kind of and it's deciding. He says it all the time. It's deciding.
Lily Newton:
I think it's a great thing to say, change the topic, and more people should just say that when they don't wanna talk about something. Change the topic. Do you have merch yet that says change the topic?
Aarti Garg:
Not with that line, but we're working on it. We have other merch now, which is really fun.
Lily Newton:
Awesome.
Aarti Garg:
Some of those other big quotes from the show.
Lily Newton:
Do you remember which quotes?
Aarti Garg:
You had your money when? What was that quote?
Subodh Garg:
For for my money, I just like to budget money so well on my ABLE accounts.
Aarti Garg:
What was the quote you said on the show about money?
Subodh Garg:
I am now doing cameras right now, and I'm now a celebrity.
Lily Newton:
You are a celebrity. I love that. Yes. I mean, you have so many quotes. You don't even remember your famous quotes. That's that's celebrity level.
Aarti Garg:
That's just his language. For us, they're quotes, but for him, that's just what he says.
Lily Newton:
That's so cool. Well, speaking of celebrity, Erin has a question. Go ahead.
Erin Hawley:
Yeah. What was it like to be on Love on the Spectrum?
Subodh Garg:
For Love on the Spectrum, I would like to find dates. But how was it being on season 1? What was that like? The season 1 looked like that I am that I am looking good.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. I get it. It does look good.
Lily Newton:
When you watched it back, did you feel really good about yourself, like, when you saw yourself in the episodes?
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Lily Newton:
What did that do for your confidence?
Subodh Garg:
For my confidence? Someone found me a date for you.
Aarti Garg:
So Subodh struggles with, pronoun reversal. So sometimes his language, it's a little confusing, but he's working on it with with Grammarly. Right?
Subodh Garg:
Yes. I am working with Grammarly.
Aarti Garg:
...to improve his grammar. So so sometimes he says things that, may not make sense, but his pronouns, he gets a little confused sometimes.
Subodh Garg:
Yes. That's okay.
Lily Newton:
Oh, that's really good to know though because I think that, you know, that's something that once once now you've told us, it's easy for us to adjust and understand what you're saying.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. Exactly. Otherwise, if you try to take it at face value, you might get confused. But, well, I got used to it. Now I understand what he's saying. He was saying that sentence, he was saying that someone found him a date, for someone found him a date for himself.
Lily Newton:
And that really helped confidence.
Aarti Garg:
From an outside perspective, I think really loved did you enjoy your experience on Love on the Spectrum?
Subodh Garg:
Yes. I did.
Aarti Garg:
What was your favorite part of of the show?
Subodh Garg:
My favorite part of the show is to go out on dates.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. He'll he really enjoyed his dates. I mean, for us, it was really going on the show was really about, getting him a girlfriend. It's not really about staying on TV, being a celebrity, whatever. So for us, the fact that he got to meet someone that he's been wanting to do for so, so long, that was really what it was all about for us, and for him too. So the filming part was kinda secondary to the actual experience of of going on dates with Don finally. So he really and the Jennifer, the dating coach, did some amazing work with him. He still uses those skills today.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. Jennifer's amazing. Do you remember any of the things that Jennifer taught you when you worked with her?
Subodh Garg:
Is to learn how to cuddle, kiss, and touch.
Aarti Garg:
No. What did she teach you?
Subodh Garg:
About how to find the right person.
Aarti Garg:
Do you remember your session with Jennifer? It was in 2021. Right? What did you guys talk about?
Subodh Garg:
We just talked about on how to how to follow guidelines with your girlfriend. Like what? Like, you have to plan things out. You have to get out of the house. You have to hug, kiss, and touch appropriately. Or appropriately.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. Yeah. And however you want to. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but that's that's really great. And I think that that Jennifer, her role in the show is one of my favorite parts of the show just because, for me, when I started dating, I I feel like there's so many, like, things that you're just supposed to know about how conversation works.
Aarti Garg:
Right.
Lily Newton:
And how to do that. But if no one explicitly states that you know, they don't teach dating in school.
Aarti Garg:
I know. You can put did. I'll tell you the neurotypical folks, we struggle with it too. I felt like there was a day I missed at school where they taught social skills and how to date properly, and I just never attended, and there was no makeup class. That's how I always feel. So you're not alone there. You guys are not alone. The whole world feels like that. We're all kind of we all kind of have that imposter syndrome on how to date properly.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. Do you now that you've dated a little bit and have had a couple of girlfriends, are you more excited to get back out there and start looking for your next love?
Subodh Garg:
Yes. I yes. I would like to to look out for the next love if it's the right person who is loyal to me, like, if who is equal together.
Lily Newton:
That's wonderful. And loyalty is an important quality to you?
Subodh Garg:
Yes. Loyalty is so important for me.
Lily Newton:
I love that. Do you have any other qualities you're really looking for?
Subodh Garg:
Loyalty, nice, kind, beautiful, cuddly.
Lily Newton:
Sounds amazing. And, you know, that's another misconception people have. I feel like people thinking that autistic people are, like, don't wanna be around other people or also don't wanna be touched. Like, I love to be hugged when it's consensual, and I enjoy it. You know? Like, so I think that's really wonderful that you're looking for that. So and have you stayed in touch with the cast from Love on the Spectrum?
Subodh Garg:
I always do. Now I used I used to not have contest, but now I now do it a lot.
Lily Newton:
That's amazing. Do you text with them or just meet up in person?
Subodh Garg:
I just text them up and meet up in person.
Lily Newton:
That's so great.
Aarti Garg:
Do you can you say who who we hang out with in LA?
Subodh Garg:
Who do we hang out? I'll say Aubrey, Allison, David and Abby, Devon and Andrea.
Lily Newton:
Oh, amazing. David and Abby.
Aarti Garg:
Aubrey are David's, siblings. They're triplets.
Lily Newton:
That's right. I think I've seen them on Instagram.
Aarti Garg:
A lot. Yeah. No. They're amazing. And we all live in the same metro area, the Los Angeles metro area, so we get together all the time, and it's been amazing, connecting with them and being friends with everyone. Such a pleasure. And Danny. Of course. Danny.
Lily Newton:
That's so cool. I'm so excited. That's just, like, such a wonderful community that they that has been built from that show. I follow all of you on Instagram, and it's always great when, you're, like, posting pictures that you've all gathered. It's so wonderful.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. It's awesome.
Erin Hawley:
So outside of love on the spectrum, how has it been trying to date?
Subodh Garg:
How has it been trying to date, is to have conversations back and forth.
Aarti Garg:
Are you having are you finding dates easily?
Subodh Garg:
Yes. I do those kind of online. With you?
Erin Hawley:
Oh, nice. How do you do that online? Online. How are you meeting them?
Subodh Garg:
I just meet them online because I would like to to swipe left or right.
Aarti Garg:
But how you connect with someone or you just want to? Just want to. Have you been able to yet?
Subodh Garg:
But not yet. Yeah. Not yet.
Aarti Garg:
Have we been able to find a lot of dates so far?
Subodh Garg:
Not right now.
Aarti Garg:
Not yet. Yeah. Dating was a huge struggle before the show, and it's still kind of a struggle now.
Subodh Garg:
Yeah.
Aarti Garg:
Even though Smither has this big plot everyone loves and knows who he is, finding the right person is is really challenging. And, you know, he is going he went through a breakup somewhat recently, with someone he met online, and getting the word out there, trying to find the right person for him, it's tough. Yeah.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. Breakups can be really hard. Breakups can be really hard. Have you leaned on your family for support as you've been going through a breakup?
Subodh Garg:
A lot.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. That's so wonderful that you have your family to support you 3 times like that. Because that's the the tricky part of dating is that dating itself is really fun, but breakups and heartbreak are really hard. You're have you but your your breakup was a little bit ago, and now you're feeling ready to start dating again, or are you still getting over that breakup?
Subodh Garg:
Half and half.
Lily Newton:
That makes sense. It takes time.
Aarti Garg:
What do you mean by half and half?
Subodh Garg:
Half the time.
Aarti Garg:
He kind kinda kinda feels sad and depressed and anxious and and anxiety for the breakup. And then I'm just so happy to find another love.
Lily Newton:
That's quite a lot.
Subodh Garg:
Yes. Complicated.
Lily Newton:
That's complicated. That makes complete sense, and it it's like it's almost hard to fully get over a breakup without, like, putting yourself out there to try again. But all those emotions you just expressed, that that makes a lot of sense. And especially now that you're, a celebrity, you have to, like, share that you're going through a breakup publicly. That's kind of difficult. I I saw you post about when you I think it was a post from your family sharing that you had were no longer with that person anymore. What what was that like? Like, how did you feel about having to share that with the world? Clarify.
Aarti Garg:
Oh, great. So, I can clarify the question? She's asking, how is it how does it feel how did it feel when the breakup happened and you and we announced it on Instagram?
Subodh Garg:
How did you feel about the announcement? I just don't know.
Aarti Garg:
No emotions about the announcement?
Subodh Garg:
Sometimes emotions. It was just so depressing and just anxiety and abandoned. Not abandoned. Not abandoned.
Lily Newton:
But it definitely can feel that way, especially when dating is something you've wanted to do for so long, and then it doesn't work out. That's that's really hard. I'm sorry you went through that, and I really am hopeful that you'll find a person soon.
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Lily Newton:
I've definitely been through breakups. I've definitely been through breakups that have made me feel so depressed and so anxious. So I think that that makes a lot of sense, and, they won't stop you from getting back out there. That's great.
Erin Hawley:
Right, Subodh?
Aarti Garg:
Yes. Let's find someone. If anyone's listening and wants to connect with Subodh, you should reach out.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. But you have to be loyal and, kind and smart, cuddly, and beautiful. Right? That was the that's the qualifiers?
Subodh Garg:
Yeah.
Lily Newton:
Okay. So if you are all of those things, then reach out.
Aarti Garg:
Please let us know.
Lily Newton:
That's that's awesome. Are there now that you've been on TV, are there any other TV shows you want to be on?
Subodh Garg:
The other TV shows that I really want to be on is the is the is kind of a autism spectrum dating, love, and weddings and marriage. Just end proposals and engagement trying to line up for my life.
Lily Newton:
So other dating shows maybe?
Subodh Garg:
We're just deciding we if we can create that one or not.
Lily Newton:
That'd be amazing. I saw you post something online about, The Bachelor and how fun it would be if they did an autistic bachelor.
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Lily Newton:
Can you tell us about the likes, though?
Subodh Garg:
For the autistic bachelor, that means we're gonna have 10 men on the left and 10 women on the right, but all autistic.
Aarti Garg:
Uh-huh.
Subodh Garg:
Then that means some somebody can choose a partner, or I can choose a partner.
Aarti Garg:
Uh-huh. And what happens throughout the show at the end?
Subodh Garg:
That means that means well, congratulate you to my to my husband and my wife, and I'll give them a hug, a kiss, and a touch, a proposal ring, an engagement ring. And I'm going to hug as long as I want.
Aarti Garg:
So sweet.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. The the bachelor show does end in an engagement, so that would be a perfect show for you. That's what you're looking for.
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Aarti Garg:
That would be amazing. Any other show you'd like to be on, though?
Subodh Garg:
Nothing else.
Aarti Garg:
I mean, game show?
Subodh Garg:
No. Let's not talk about it. You wanna stop our game shows. That's okay. Let's talk about it. Change the topic.
Lily Newton:
Change the topic.
Aarti Garg:
Change the topic.
Lily Newton:
Change the topic. I think that would be really cool, though, if, like, other reality shows that already exist started to better incorporate disability. I think it's wild that we have these, like, so many dating shows. We think about, like, Love is Blind and The Bachelor and all these different things, but none of them really talk about disability at all. I think that would be amazing representation to start including disability in mainstream reality shows. And that might take some of the pressure off of shows like Love on the Spectrum because I feel like Love on the Spectrum gets a lot of critique for not being, like, the perfect representation. Of course. But no no one show is ever gonna be the perfect representation. That's why you need, like, many, many shows. And I think that's important because that happens in in pretty much any disability representation. I remember the first time we were recording an episode for this podcast, I was really anxious because I was like, does this podcast have the, like, expectation that it's supposed to represent all disability perfectly? And, like, there's never gonna be one thing that represents all disability perfectly.
Subodh Garg:
Yeah. Absolutely.
Aarti Garg:
I remember when, there's a show I'm here to the good doctors, though.
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Aarti Garg:
There's a show called the good doctor that's on ABC. It's the it's it's the main character who has autism. He's a surgeon, and I remember reading online. I watch I've been watching it since the first episode, obviously. I have a vested interest of the topic. There's been a lot of critique about the show. You know, why is Sean doing this? Why don't they show that? You know, I'm autistic, but I do this, everything like that. And it's just such a it's a singular take on autism. As you said, I think you said it perfectly, there's no way to perfectly represent the whole community. I think having more representation, destigmatizing, and exposing the world to what autism can look like, would be so amazing for the autism community. That would be so beautiful to see. I would love to see some more representation out there.
Subodh Garg:
Yeah.
Lily Newton:
And and, I mean, you're kinda you're doing that, by creating content on Instagram. You have a pretty major following. What has that been like, growing your following like that?
Subodh Garg:
Growing my following look like for traveling_ Sabot. I've been on it a lot.
Aarti Garg:
And how do you feel about posting on that page?
Subodh Garg:
It's kind of kinda downhill.
Aarti Garg:
Why is that?
Subodh Garg:
Because I was about to log in, but then it it's because you don't wanna mess up the post.
Aarti Garg:
So what what about what about all the posts that are on your Instagram? How do you feel about the post? Do you enjoy posting?
Subodh Garg:
I enjoy posting.
Aarti Garg:
What do you like? What's your favorite content to post on Instagram?
Subodh Garg:
My favorite content to post is what kind of books do you like to read? Asking questions. Asking questions.
Lily Newton:
Hey. Erin posts a ton about books.
Erin Hawley:
Yes. I love to read.
Aarti Garg:
Do you wanna ask her your question?
Subodh Garg:
What do you like to read, Erin?
Erin Hawley:
I like fantasy and science fiction.
Subodh Garg:
I just like to read about travel.
Erin Hawley:
Travel. Nice. What's your favorite book?
Subodh Garg:
I just like Lonely Planet.
Erin Hawley:
Lonely Planet. Nice.
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Erin Hawley:
Awesome.
Lily Newton:
I don't think I've read that. Erin, will you tell us and our listeners about the disability readathon? I feel like that's a great time to talk about this on the show.
Erin Hawley:
Yeah. So I host the disability readathon with my friend, Anna, and it's all about, disability representation in books, in TV, and in movies. And it's the entire month of April, and we chat about what we're reading. We do different events throughout the month, and it's really, really fun. And, we have a website. It's disabilityreadathon.com.
Aarti Garg:
Disability Readathon?
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Aarti Garg:
Can you read some more travel books? That'd be cool.
Subodh Garg:
Yes. That would be cool.
Erin Hawley:
Yeah. That'd be awesome. You're able to share what you're reading. So if you guys don't wanna do that, just send us a message, and we can share that on our Instagram.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. Sometimes I feel like stuff like that, like books and TV shows and just content in general is such a good way to make connections with people because, like, sometimes knowing how to socialize can be kind of difficult, but it can be easy if you just remember, like, oh, I'm gonna ask what's your favorite book, or what's your favorite movie. Like, you can learn so much about people. Do you have a favorite movie?
Subodh Garg:
My favorite movie is, I just like Aquaman.
Aarti Garg:
Oh, cool. Is that your favorite movie?
Lily Newton:
With you, that fits with the theme of loving to swim and loving to be in the water.
Aarti Garg:
Yes. What's your favorite movie?
Subodh Garg:
Aquaman. Okay.
Aarti Garg:
I'm learning stuff too, but it's not
Subodh Garg:
Yeah.
Lily Newton:
That's awesome.
Aarti Garg:
Do you wanna add the peers program really briefly and tell about how they taught you your social skills?
Subodh Garg:
When I was in the peers program, my social skills taught me how to socialize.
Aarti Garg:
And what did they teach you in the program?
Subodh Garg:
They want to learn how to feel comfortable about going to social shows and social etiquette like hugging, kissing, and touching girls and boys. That means that's not proper social etiquette. That means you don't wanna again, it scares people off. And also leaving a message for all the professionals, but they're not their friends. And also for stay at home moms, they they used they used to be my friend, but now they're all married and have their kids, and they don't wanna be his friend anymore.
Lily Newton:
Oh, that's hard when people get really busy, and then they don't wanna talk anymore.
Subodh Garg:
Yeah.
Lily Newton:
That's tough. Did you meet people in the peers program?
Subodh Garg:
Yeah. I used to meet them in the peers program, but now they're all independent.
Aarti Garg:
Who did you meet? Where are some friends from the peers program?
Subodh Garg:
I don't remember them.
Aarti Garg:
Was Max part of it?
Subodh Garg:
Max used to be part of it, but now he is working.
Lily Newton:
Oh, wow.
Aarti Garg:
Max was his wife when he was Oh, cool. So just to give a little background, the Piers program is a is a program by doctor Les Logoson, researcher at UCLA, and it's all it's it's a it's a program, social program for for adults with, with, special needs, and it gives them it's like a 10 how long was the program?
Subodh Garg:
It was a 2 month program.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. About 8 to 10 weeks program that gave framework on how to socialize in different situations. And it really helped Sabo blossom when it came to socializing. So it gave him topics as he said. You know? What's good small talk? Like, what's your favorite book? What's your favorite movie? And it gave parameters on what's appropriate for each circle of, of people. So you have the closest people to you that you can hug, then you have friends, and you can give a small hug, acquaintances, no touching at all, things like that. It was an amazing, amazing program.
Subodh Garg:
Yeah.
Aarti Garg:
Helped him a lot. Yes. Helped him understand the world. It was kind of like that that crash course in socializing that we were talking about. It was like a stay in school where they taught how to interact with people in society. Yes. People in society.
Lily Newton:
That's amazing. That's really wonderful. I wonder if you could share what you learned in programs like that maybe on your Instagram. Like, share some informational stuff for other autistic people who might want to learn what you learned.
Aarti Garg:
Now if you can connect with doctor Logoson and and see if we can make a series of posts, that'd be great. Yes. From? Yes.
Lily Newton:
That'd be amazing, and we know you're great at collaboration. Listeners, Svoboda's part of the Easterseals upcoming set of video series about understanding autism better. So, stay tuned. Those will be on available on Easterseals' social medias and website and things like that. But, I know you're great at collaboration because that was a lot of fun. And I had a lot of fun working with you getting to share, just how autistic traits kind of present with people who might not know that. I have another question about Instagram. How do you make sure to practice online safety? Because sometimes people can not be very trustworthy online.
Lily Newton:
So do you work with your family to help run your Instagram? How does that work, and how do you make sure to stay safe online?
Subodh Garg:
First, let's first, let Arty do the safety precautions first, like, safety boundaries or personal boundaries or professional boundaries.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. So I kind of, so he and I are both logged in to his Instagram, and I I monitor it. Honestly, I monitor it more closely than he does. I'm the one that's usually, you know, helping him, manage his comments and and his messages and things like that. So, usually, I'm able to catch things, as they come in, and so I I started I stay pretty diligent about making sure that he's not exposed to anything harmful, any kind of scams. There's a lot of stuff, a lot of stuff that's come up. But suppose is, he loves having his platform to share his journey with people, connect with people, make friends, but he's not on Instagram all the time. But if something comes up, I'll be like, hey, Spell. We got this thing on Instagram. Like, let's talk about it. And so, usually, I'm able to see things that come in and and, you know, dispose of them accordingly. So I I appreciate the trust in me because I try to keep him safe for the most part, but, you know, I'm only human also.
Lily Newton:
Well, that's wonderful that your sister is there to help because sometimes people online can be really mean, and, there's no need for you to see that. I wish I had honestly, you wanna come monitor my Instagram and just delete any mean stuff? That might I would love to keep it going. Everyone should have someone else logged into their Instagram that just deletes mean comments.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah.
Lily Newton:
There's really no need to see that.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. There's no need. It's not productive for him or for us. And, honestly, the platform is meant to be an expression of joy and inspiration and, and just exposing who he is in a very genuine real way. So, of course, there's haters online, but I will say, as a credit to the community, the vast majority of comments and messages are always so positive. People really love Spode. How do you feel about your fans? Do you like them?
Subodh Garg:
I like them.
Aarti Garg:
That's okay.
Erin Hawley:
Fan encounters online or in person?
Subodh Garg:
It's only in person, but I just do what I know about online. Online, usually, we will sit and do it together. Yeah.
Lily Newton:
That's wonderful. So, you know, you get a lot of support, it seems like, from your sister and family in general. You kind of mentioned when we were talking last time that, you've had different support people in your life and different help. How has support changed throughout your life? Like, who are you working with now?
Subodh Garg:
I am working with right now, it's kind of planning the schedule is kinda little bit tough because I have a lot of stuff going on.
Aarti Garg:
Are your service providers right now? Can you list them?
Subodh Garg:
I just like the Harbour Regional Center. Uh-huh. What else? I just don't like creative support that much because I'm now gonna start becoming fully independent.
Aarti Garg:
But are you getting services from creative support?
Subodh Garg:
Not as much. I don't but I don't attend the socials that much anymore because they they have a lot of things going on, like their work, their family, their health.
Lily Newton:
You're talking about your family staff experience?
Aarti Garg:
Yes. What other services are you getting?
Subodh Garg:
I'm gonna start getting new services.
Aarti Garg:
Currently, right now, what services are you getting?
Subodh Garg:
Why are you asking?
Aarti Garg:
That's the question. What are you getting right now?
Subodh Garg:
I don't get them as much.
Lily Newton:
What about Best Buddies?
Subodh Garg:
For best buddies, they're kinda good, but I need to work more on my skill. And if you if you're a fully skillful adult, that means I just just wanna apply it for myself.
Lily Newton:
I get that. So you really kind of crave independence.
Aarti Garg:
He really does.
Subodh Garg:
What do you mean he really does, Artie?
Lily Newton:
She was saying that you really crave independence. Crave independence. That makes sense. Because that that kind of aligns with your goals that you want to be independent, have a family, get your degree, things like that. How, you know, you get a lot of support from your sister. How do the 2 of you maintain a sibling relationship, while also
Subodh Garg:
I just don't like sibling relationships because you don't go marry sisters. It's not allowed.
Lily Newton:
Of course. Correct. Absolutely correct.
Aarti Garg:
I mean, more how does your relationship is our our sibling bond. That's what she knew for our relationship.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. So your sister helps you out with certain things, but one thing you said to me the last time we talked was that Artie's your sister, not your mom. And that Oh, yes. Important.
Subodh Garg:
Yeah. You don't go date sisters or marry sisters.
Lily Newton:
Correct on that. Absolutely correct on that. But, does are you able to get support and still just be, like, friend sister friendship with your sister rather than feeling like she's a caretaker or anything like that?
Subodh Garg:
She used to be a caretaker, but I don't just I'm just slowing it down right now. We're just working towards slowing down.
Lily Newton:
Do you feel like you're hanging out for the siblings?
Aarti Garg:
It's not about me helping you, but do you ever hang out?
Subodh Garg:
Somewhat.
Aarti Garg:
So is it difficult sometimes with me?
Subodh Garg:
Sometimes it can be difficult. Okay.
Lily Newton:
Fair. Well, it's a hard balance that, you know, sometimes when you get support from family members, this is something we deal with a lot just in the disability community in general. You know, when caretaking kind of crosses into other relationships, whether that's, like family or romantic or just friendship. I know that sometimes with my partner, when I'm having, like, a lot of meltdowns or, having a hard time, verbalizing, it can sometimes put him in the position of being my caretaker rather than my boyfriend. And that's just something interesting to kind of manage. So, I think that's really interesting that she used to support you a bit more, but you're working more towards independence now.
Aarti Garg:
I will say that, we've lived together since 2019. See, 19. 2019. We've been roommates, but I I don't I don't necessarily feel like his caretaker. I don't really interfere in his life. I don't I don't I'm not involved in his life in in his daily life. So he he and I are fully independent. Like, we don't really interact too much at home unless we're doing something, unless we're intentionally doing something, but he cooks all his own food. He he cooks for me sometimes, actually, a lot. He cooks for me all the time, which is really nice because I get so busy. I get overwhelmed. But he cooks himself. He does his own laundry. He cleans his own room. He does all his own grooming. Like, everything is fully independent.
Aarti Garg:
I do support him when it comes to arranging for social media things or taking him to special events. When we're talking about we're having conversations like this and the questions maybe are a little bit more cerebral than he can comprehend, I'll help kind of translate for him a little bit. But, otherwise, he's fully independent. I don't really feel like his caretaker. I feel more like his manager, if anything. I don't feel like his caretaker.
Lily Newton:
Cool because you're a celebrity. You need a manager. Yep. Exactly.
Subodh Garg:
Oh, yeah. Just like when we invite them to Tai Chi's or Thao Chi's house, I sometimes say, I'm not going or maybe, but we do not have the details.
Aarti Garg:
Sometimes I ask him to attend a social event. He says no. I have to explain to him why it's important. Sometimes we we compromise on timing. Sometimes, I'll say, you know what? You're right. Go ahead and stay home. Or sometimes I insist and say, Smoke, this is really important. We can't just say no for nobody's sin, and he listens, and then we go do their thing, whatever it is.
Lily Newton:
That's awesome.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. I'm not I wouldn't say I'm his caretaker. I definitely am involved in some parts of his life, but he is remarkably independent. I I don't get involved in his day to day life at all.
Subodh Garg:
I know Lucy used to come to the sea house house a lot, but now she doesn't go there as much because she has a lot of things going on.
Aarti Garg:
So they don't know who Lucy is. We can move on to another topic.
Subodh Garg:
Someone who cleans that. She used to clean up the house, but she doesn't come to see house that much.
Aarti Garg:
I know it's still cleaning ground stuff. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
Subodh Garg:
He cleans up his own stuff.
Erin Hawley:
Cool.
Lily Newton:
Well, for the final part of the interview, we don't have that much time left, but we like to talk about the, pillars of Easterseals. So Easterseals is working for equity and access when it comes to community, education, employment, health care, and transportation. So we talked about community a little bit that you, found some really great community with Love on the Spectrum. Do you have other autistic friends in your life that you can, like, find community with?
Subodh Garg:
Yes. I can look for autistic friends who is nearly the same age as me. Do you currently have autistic friends? I used to, but now they have to start living closer to family where they used to grow up at. But now they just choose to move on to something else, and they just chose not to be on Facebook because they are now all working professionals who are on the autism spectrum.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. I think that's a thing that most Americans face in general that, it's really hard to have community and work. Erin, we've talked about this.
Erin Hawley:
Yeah. It's hard to make friends as an adult if you're working, if you have a family. It's just really because you're not you know, you make friends at work, but if you're not working, how do you make friends as an adult? It's really difficult. But it can happen. I think online spaces really help to to do that. Because all my friends are online, which is fun. And
Subodh Garg:
I'm gonna start going online.
Erin Hawley:
Yeah. You should. Totally.
Subodh Garg:
I'm gonna start going online. Yeah.
Erin Hawley:
And you should make friends online because friends can turn into a partner, a romantic partner. So I just, like, start off with friends and see what happens.
Lily Newton:
Yeah.
Subodh Garg:
Erin, what regional center did you used to be with, and are you still with it?
Erin Hawley:
I I do not have that, but I live in New Jersey.
Aarti Garg:
You need the virtual STEM there.
Erin Hawley:
Yeah. I have Medicaid. But, yeah, I mostly get like, my friends are all online, and I do have some friends in person, but, as I said, they're really busy with their job and their family. So it's like, okay.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. That kind of brings us to another topic, which is transportation, because I know you've mentioned that it's hard sometimes to get to your friends, and you're in the Los Angeles area, not the greatest public transportation. What's that? Do you do you take the bus? Do you, are you able to get to your friends?
Subodh Garg:
I do it sometimes. But, yeah, but the population is kinda getting less because of their busy working people.
Lily Newton:
That makes sense.
Aarti Garg:
What what do you use for transportation, Subodh?
Subodh Garg:
I use Access, and sometimes I do buses sometimes.
Aarti Garg:
What is can you explain what Access is?
Subodh Garg:
It's just a paratransit service. So I just don't want to take so many buses from Cerritos to Los Angeles or Cerritos to Orange County.
Aarti Garg:
So it's a it's a ride share service for people with disabilities.
Lily Newton:
But that's awesome.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. It's amazing. It really helps him a lot. So he doesn't drive, but but access really gives him the capability to travel pretty much across both all of LA Metro. It's pretty amazing.
Subodh Garg:
Oh, but I'm going for my short term goal. I'm gonna start taking my DMV test. I'm gonna try it.
Lily Newton:
That's a great short term goal. That's awesome.
Subodh Garg:
Oh, you know what? There were there were some people with disabilities who want to learn how to drive.
Lily Newton:
Definitely. And it's great that there's options like that access for, people who can't drive. I think that's really wonderful. I think that microtransit is the future, like the kind of rideshare
Erin Hawley:
Mhmm.
Lily Newton:
Schedulable.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. That's really great.
Subodh Garg:
But for microtransit, they pay less. But for Uber and Lyft, they are way more expensive.
Erin Hawley:
Mhmm. Yeah.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. Uber and Lyft is super expensive, especially lately. And public transit's great when it's accessible, but sometimes it's not, which is tough.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. He takes a he takes a public transpo if, if there's not too many transfers, but with transfers, it gets a little confusing. Right?
Subodh Garg:
So It kind of kinda gets a little bit of confusing.
Lily Newton:
That makes sense. Yeah. It can be kinda confusing. So you mentioned that one of your what were you gonna say?
Subodh Garg:
Sorry. Go on, Lily.
Lily Newton:
You can go ahead. I wanna hear what you're gonna say.
Subodh Garg:
Let let's let Lily finish off the conversation.
Lily Newton:
Okay. What I was gonna say is that you mentioned that you have an education goal of that you want to get a degree, and you and I talked a little bit about you'd asked me some questions about my degree. What do you wanna get a degree in, and what, like, what other educational goals do you have?
Subodh Garg:
I'm just gonna earn a degree in business, so I can I can work for the business?
Lily Newton:
That'd be awesome. Do you current? Do you work right now?
Subodh Garg:
I am currently working right now for 2 different jobs. I work for the tele deli and insight, but my job developer is trying to get a full time career.
Lily Newton:
That's exciting. Who's your job developer with?
Subodh Garg:
Where does she work? For Best Buddies.
Lily Newton:
Oh, that's really great. And you like do you like your 2 jobs right now?
Subodh Garg:
I love my 2 jobs.
Lily Newton:
What what are they specifically? What do you do at each job?
Subodh Garg:
For the teledelis, I do the loaves. The the loaves, and then I do invoices and roll ups and cookies.
Lily Newton:
Nice. And what about the other one?
Subodh Garg:
Insight. Sometimes I do I do payments for most of the time, but then they couldn't find work at Insight for just 3 other days.
Lily Newton:
Got it. So you work you go to the website.
Aarti Garg:
So Insight is our family business, actually. Oh, cool. And so Insight, we when we have work for him, what kind of work do you do do you do for Insight?
Subodh Garg:
I like to do AP and AR, a jeans, and top tens.
Aarti Garg:
What about file conversions?
Subodh Garg:
I love file conversions.
Aarti Garg:
He does a great job, honestly. He does so such good work.
Lily Newton:
I do not like file conversions. Anything anything computer related, I'm not good at it. So that's amazing that you're good at it. Yes. You so you actually you like file conversions. You're, like, good at technology stuff?
Subodh Garg:
Yes. Technology stuff.
Lily Newton:
I'm so bad at it. Like, so bad. I get so frustrated at computers. Well, that's amazing. I'm really glad that you have 2 jobs you like. Do you have a, like, dream? You said you were hoping to get a full time job. Do you know what you'd like to do?
Subodh Garg:
I would like to do a lot of accounting accounts accounts payable, accounts receivable, and then I'll try to become an accountant.
Lily Newton:
That'd be amazing. I think that you are set up for success on your journey towards your goals.
Aarti Garg:
Yes. We're also a family of accountants. I'm a CPA myself. My dad is, my mom also. So our business is in accounting. We do accounting work. So he has it in his veins.
Subodh Garg:
But but daddy daddy doesn't go to work that much.
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. He's semi retired.
Subodh Garg:
Semi retired, so that's why mommy had a take over.
Lily Newton:
Yep. That's awesome that you have a family business and you can all get to work together a little bit.
Subodh Garg:
That's really wonderful. Try to apply for a different job. Cool.
Lily Newton:
What job are you gonna apply for?
Subodh Garg:
I'm gonna apply for an accounting business that's not a family business like Laser Fish.
Lily Newton:
Cool. That makes sense. That aligns with your other goals of independence that you kind of wanna carve out your own path.
Subodh Garg:
Yes. Absolutely.
Lily Newton:
That's awesome. My final question, talking about healthcare, is, well, it's kind of a multiple part question. The first part of it is how old were you when you were diagnosed with autism?
Subodh Garg:
I guess about 3 years old.
Lily Newton:
Okay. And do you remember that, or have you just been told that?
Subodh Garg:
I've just been told that.
Lily Newton:
I don't remember when I was 3 either. Do you do you remember what services you used? Like, did you do any specific therapies growing up, and are you still doing any of them now?
Subodh Garg:
For the speech speech and speech and?
Aarti Garg:
Uh-huh. What else? Speech. What about the hyperbaric?
Subodh Garg:
One? Hyperbaric. I just haven't come at the hyperbaric in a long time, but then for my speech, I just knew it already.
Lily Newton:
What type of baric? I've never heard of that.
Subodh Garg:
At 5 years old.
Aarti Garg:
He started speaking when he was 6, actually. He's nonverbal till he was 6, and he did ABA therapy, at 6 years old. Can you explain what hyperbaric chamber is?
Subodh Garg:
It's something that you calm your anxiety down.
Aarti Garg:
Oh, okay. Chamber is, is where is a chamber that you lay down in. Right? You lay down? Yes. You lay down in this chamber, and it and it's a hyper it's a high level oxygen. I think it's a 100% saturation of oxygen. Pure oxygen. You're saturated in it in that chamber, for how long were the sessions?
Subodh Garg:
It was 40 times in in a year.
Aarti Garg:
But how how how long are we minutes?
Subodh Garg:
Just about 60 minutes.
Aarti Garg:
It's about an hour. You sit in this chamber with a high with that super level of oxygen, and it's supposed to, help your brain heal at different ways, and I my mom I was young at the time, but when when he did it, apparently, it did help calm his anxiety quite a bit and, helped him a lot grow grow a lot from that from those streamers. So it's an ominous smell, obviously. It's there's I don't know the exact science behind it, but it helps him a lot.
Lily Newton:
That's awesome.
Aarti Garg:
He did a lot of different speech therapies as a kid. Do you remember Doris?
Subodh Garg:
I remember Doris, but she is retired.
Aarti Garg:
Do you remember what therapies you did with Doris?
Subodh Garg:
Fast the computers? Uh-huh. That's it.
Aarti Garg:
Did a lot of she there was a, someone we worked with that did a lot of therapies on the computer. Well, she hooked him up to brain things. Right? Yeah. What are those called? I forgot what they're called. Diodes, like, they'll put them on put those on his his head, and he would use his brainpower to drive the program. So it's teaching him how to to strengthen his brainpower. Again, I I was a kid. I don't remember exactly what it was all about, but he's had probably dozens of different kinds of therapies, and who knows what what was effective and what wasn't.
Subodh Garg:
I I used to know as a friend from 2003 to 11 because she is now retired. She hasn't seen them in a long time, but she may be alive or or not. Yeah.
Lily Newton:
That was the therapist you worked with?
Aarti Garg:
Yeah. Doris. And he is a psychotherapist now that he's been with for many years?
Subodh Garg:
Just 7 years.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. Wow.
Aarti Garg:
So she helps him a lot there too.
Subodh Garg:
Oh, but I'm not doing much help as much right now, but I'm just slowing it down.
Lily Newton:
Got it.
Subodh Garg:
We're just working towards that.
Erin Hawley:
Yes.
Lily Newton:
That's awesome.
Aarti Garg:
He will I think his goal is to have no services, be able to just have no services. But all of these things, he's been able to get through the regional center, and they've been a really huge help in, in getting the therapies that he's needed. So that was having his services coordinator. He just has had a huge community of help in his life, mostly from my mom, building that community for him, but they've all contributed in some way or another. Yeah.
Lily Newton:
Do you have a family therapy you've done?
Subodh Garg:
I just like the the Westside Regional Center. I used to be there.
Aarti Garg:
Well, what therapies did you like? What service was your favorite?
Subodh Garg:
I don't know.
Aarti Garg:
You don't have you don't remember? Remember?
Subodh Garg:
Don't remember.
Aarti Garg:
That's okay.
Lily Newton:
That's great though. You had a lot of different options, and we're able to try different things and figure out what worked for you. I think that a lot of people think that there's only, like, one autism therapy, but there's so many different things to try. So that's wonderful that you were able to find the supports that worked for you. And, you know, that's part of the work that Erin and I do for Easterseals is, helping people learn about Easterseals, which provides a lot of supports for people all around the country. So that's really wonderful. I'm glad that you yeah.
Subodh Garg:
Do you know what the Westside Regional Center is?
Lily Newton:
No. I've never I've never been there. Is it in Los Angeles?
Subodh Garg:
It's it's in Los Angeles, Culver City.
Lily Newton:
Oh, cool. No. I I have never I have never been there, but I go to LA sometimes, so maybe the next time I go, I can check it out.
Subodh Garg:
Oh, yes. I've been with the Westside Regional Center for 8 years from 2011 to 19.
Lily Newton:
That's amazing. Well, I'm so happy to hear about all the different supports you've had, and I think that your goal for total independence is awesome, but I also think there's nothing wrong with getting the support that you need. Because I I need supports, and I'll I'll need supports my entire life probably. And I yeah. And I think it's important to be okay with that and know that you can be a very successful adult and still need a lot of support. That doesn't having support and getting services does not make you a less accomplished adult.
Subodh Garg:
What happens if you're gone without services?
Lily Newton:
If I don't have services, like, I I I need a lot of help with my anxiety, and, I have a therapist that I work with, who helps me with some of my, an autistic quality that I have is I, like, ruminate or I think about the same thing kind of over and over again. So I have a therapist.
Subodh Garg:
I just don't want to. Okay.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. It's I don't like it either. It like, thinking about the same thing over and over, it it's not very fun. So I have a therapist that I work with, and I think I'll probably gonna use her forever.
Subodh Garg:
Hi. Do you know how hard is it to hire a new therapist or or find a different therapist?
Lily Newton:
It was hard. I I was looking for a long time because I specifically wanted to find an Indian therapist that I could work with who could help me out with my like, understanding my identity, and that's been really amazing. But, yeah, I think I'll have that support my entire life, and I am super okay with that. And I know, Erin, you probably feel the same way, that having supports is not a bad thing. It's actually really great. Right.
Erin Hawley:
You can still be independent and need help.
Subodh Garg:
Right. Because none I'm just don't need help.
Erin Hawley:
Okay. Anybody else needs help to live.
Subodh Garg:
Erin? How often do you go on Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn?
Erin Hawley:
Every day.
Lily Newton:
Yeah. Erin and I, we spend a lot of time on social media because we do that for our job. But we can add you on I'll definitely add you on Instagram.
Erin Hawley:
Yeah.
Subodh Garg:
Erin, what's how often do you travel and, like, what sports do you play, Erin?
Erin Hawley:
I don't play any sports, but I like to watch hockey, and I don't travel that much.
Subodh Garg:
How come you don't travel that much when you're working or when you have a disability?
Erin Hawley:
It's not very accessible, but also I don't I I like to stay in the house a lot. I'm like a introvert, so I don't really like to travel too much.
Subodh Garg:
What social what social clubs do you attend?
Erin Hawley:
None because I'm very antisocial, but I do like events online. I'm playing games with my friends, googling your games. But, yeah, I don't really like to go out too much.
Aarti Garg:
Your interests are different.
Subodh Garg:
Yes.
Aarti Garg:
Right? Her interests are staying where we're playing games. Your interests are traveling and doing things like that. So everyone has different interests.
Subodh Garg:
Yes. That's normal.
Lily Newton:
That's awesome. Thanks for asking us questions too. This has been such a wonderful interview. Before we head out, do you have any final questions for us, Subodh?
Subodh Garg:
For my final question?
Lily Newton:
It's okay if you don't have anything else to ask.
Aarti Garg:
He has too many questions to ask.
Subodh Garg:
It's too many questions to ask. I want to say thank you for for all that about my life, about life helped me a lot.
Lily Newton:
That's wonderful. Thank you so much for coming on this podcast and sharing information and, like, letting us get to know you a little better. This has been really fun, and I think our listeners will really enjoy this episode. And we'll be excited to see you in the upcoming autism acceptance video series, and I know we'll work together more in the future. And, you know, I'm I'm always really excited to get to talk to another autistic person. Specifically, I just, like, don't really have any other friends who are autistic and Indian. So that's really wonderful to have that in common with you and get to have talked to you twice this week. I really appreciate it, and I'm really grateful we got to talk so much.
Lily Newton:
Have a wonderful rest of your day.
Aarti Garg:
Thank you guys so much for having us. It's such a pleasure, and please keep in touch. We love to add to our solid friends.
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