Episode 16: Changing Expectations Through Comedy with Tina Friml

Everything You Know About Disability Is Wrong Podcast

May 29, 2024

Episode 16 Show Notes

In today's episode, Erin and Lily are joined by Tina Friml, a New York-based comedian who shares her unique experiences navigating the comedy scene. We'll explore the misconceptions about disabilities, the role of humor and radical self-acceptance, and turning casual ableism into comedy gold.

From the sometimes illogical things Tina can and cannot do, to her decision to only perform in ADA accessible venues, this episode is packed with insights.

Get ready to tune in, laugh, and learn as we welcome you to another episode of Everything You Know About Disability is Wrong. Let's get started!

Connect with Tina Friml on Instagram.

Transcript

Erin Hawley:

Welcome to another episode of Everything You Know About Disability is Wrong. Today, we have comedian, Tina Friml, with us. So welcome to the podcast.

Tina Friml:

Thank you for being here. This is this is from that is and, indeed, I I've said this before. I I love just the title podcast.

Lily Newton:

Oh, we're so glad to have you. Thank you so much. I gotta give credit, Erin. That was Erin came up with that title, and it was like the second that you told me that this that was gonna be the title, it was like, well, I'm on board. We're doing this. Yeah. So, listeners, Tina is a New York based comedian originally from Burlington, Vermont. She exploded into the comedy scene appearing on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon and Comedy Central in 2023, and she continues to perform at sold out shows internationally.

Lily Newton:

Having merged into stand up comedy following an upbringing in local theater theater kids, yes In a decade as a songwriter, she was named 20 nineteen's Just For Laughs New Face and has appeared on The Drew Barrymore Show, 20 nineteen's New York Comedy Festival, 20 nineteen's The Limestone Comedy Festival, and the NBC Comedy Spotlight Series as a part of the 2018 Women in Comedy Festival. She's the 2018 winner of Vermont's Funniest Comedian at Vermont Comedy Club, and we are so excited to chat with her today. We this is gonna be great. Yeah.

Tina Friml:

I'm so good. Still good. Yes.

Erin Hawley:

Before we get started, I'd like to do some audio descriptions just so our blind or low vision listeners can know what we look like. So I'm Erin, I have red hair even though you can't tell in this lighting. I have blue eyes, and I'm wearing a brown sweater. And I'm white presenting. I'll pass it to Lily.

Lily Newton:

Hey, listeners. This is Lily. I am a woman in my mid twenties. I am white passing. I have brown hair and green eyes, and I'm wearing a a black button up shirt. And the necklace I always wear that I will fidget with throughout the episode. Tina, you wanna go ahead and do your audio description?

Tina Friml:

Sure. Hi. Let's see. I'm Tina. I'm a 30 year old lady with, red hair and, I I know, turquoise t shirt, and I'm surrounded by, which are, like, piles of laundry and linen, which I promised is twins.

Lily Newton:

That's what this closet door. I feel like it always looks kind of ominous behind me, but it's like all the clothes that would show just get shoved in there. I remember.

Tina Friml:

Yeah. Yeah. See, like, I live in, I'm, like, in the middle of Brooklyn, so I don't get the luxury of, like, closet door. Right. I do. It's just a cat room.

Lily Newton:

Yeah. The floor is your closet.

Tina Friml:

Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. If you can see, the other half of my queen pet bed is great stories.

Lily Newton:

Absolutely.

Erin Hawley:

So this project is named what it is, And, you know, what do people get wrong about you and your disability?

Tina Friml:

I would say, like, the most people get wrong and people kinda get caught up on is, they think that kinda that so I have I have cerebral palsy, and I'm a very mild condition. So it's kind of like, you know, I'm I'm disabled. Well, like I said, I'm disabled, but I'm not totally committed to go live then. You know? I'm, like, I I mainly just look like how I talk in my body and motor skills. And if that's not, it's, you know, I'm I don't really have any injuries at all. I do need, like, stability stuff. And well, it's hard because it's like but but then they but I'm not quite like, I'm I'm too sometimes I do able to provide for, a lot of accommodations that get offered to me. And and but but, like, what if they do need certain accommodations? And I don't know, like, fall into either box.

So the thing that people most kinda get wrong is they think that the things that I am able or not able to do, because of my disability are like, but that I mean, like, it would make sense if at a certain point, like, I asked the background of all the things you could do in life on a day to day basis. At some point in that spectrum, these tasks get technical enough where I can no longer do anything past a certain thing. But that's not true. I don't know if I'm should explain this right? I don't know. What like, for example, like, people will get really surprised when I tell them that I rock climber. I'm a rock climber. And and yet, like, a minute later, we'll go get coffee, and I cannot carry coffee. Like, I I need them to help carry my coffee if I'm, like, well, like, 5 feet from 1 service to the next.

Tina Friml:

And I well, I I save it as an example because I didn't fully realize it until about you, my boyfriend when I was kinda got to know him. Yeah. He kinda tripped at me. He said, yeah. What do you mean you bought a client? Like, because, you know, to deal with the coffee thing and and that, you know, what is weird also is, like, I cannot put jewelry on. Like, I can't really put a necklace on. I can do extremely good eyeliner. So it's, like, like, gosh. So the hill that I will die on today, this lovely morning, is that the thing about it is is a logical and it it really, like, sometimes they don't always assume you can kinda get a grasp on what a person can or cannot do because reality is you don't know. You don't know, like, because we cannot do one task. It might totally be unrelated to another task that they're doing.

Erin Hawley:

Yeah. Exactly. And I think that speaks to, like, don't make assumptions, and every disabled person is different in what they can and can't do even within the same disability. So I feel like that is a great example of that, because, like, people assume I can't do most things and they're not wrong, but, like, I can do a lot, and they're surprised by, like, very basic things that I can do, like go to work, have a job. You know what I mean? So it's cool.

Lily Newton:

I think that's like I think it has to do with the, like, people really wanting to be able to figure us out and, like, put us into a clean box and, like because having a non apparent disability, like being autistic, I feel like I get the same kind of thing when it comes to like social stuff, like my friends will be shocked that I'm really good at, like, a work conference. Like, I love a work conference where I'm meeting strangers, but like a restaurant is really hard for me, like talking to my friends at a restaurant, and it doesn't necessarily make logical sense. So people will be like, well, how come you can, like, go talk to strangers in this setting but not this setting? And it's like because I'm a human, like, with complex like, I'm just, like, real. Like, there are certain things that I can and can't do, and I think that it does make people, like, a little uncomfortable that they can't figure us out immediately. And I think that has to do with, like, even more than just disability. When you talk, like, sexuality or gender or anything like that, do people really want people to fit into nice, clean boxes? And that's just, like, not how humans work.

Tina Friml:

And even well, I think that's exactly it. Like, even if you do one thing, thing out outside of the thing that you should or should not do in the box that you, you know, are you kind of in? It trips people up, I think. And, I I know that whenever I'm around someone and I am doing something that was that people might not think I could do, something super simple, like tie tie my shoes. And, you know, you and I wanna know if you guys get this too, but, like, after 30 years of being in a disabled body, I I got, like, a fine to to I can't pick up when people are thinking things or feeling things. You know, I just get I get a very sort of slight vibe. And I I can kinda tell, like, that the people are thinking to themselves, like, do I help it? Do I do I do I ask that or, like, do I or do I not? Is that oh, it was and, again, like, it was something my boyfriend actually opened my eyes to. He's so articulate when it comes to this job. So, like, I I've learned so much about kind of the other point of view, And he does, in fact, talk about he didn't know what whether to even ask. Is it empowering? Like like, I mean, it's a it's a big conundrum. It's like do not ask because it's empowering for them to do it themselves. Or you offer help because, otherwise, you're kind of a dickhead. But just standing there and, like, you know, watching our entire shoes even though it takes longer. And when he posts that question, like, which one should I do? Even Isaac, I oh, I don't know. Because I mean, that is the tricky thing. I disability is such a tricky topic, and I think people want to put in boxes. They want to say, this is the cool thing to do for everyone, but that's not untrue.

Erin Hawley:

Mhmm. Yeah. I like what you said, like, that you can get vibes from people. It's like the disability 6th sense. Like, you just can't tell when somebody's, like, have the gears going in their head. Like, oh, what do you what do I say? So it's very it's kind of funny after a while because you're so used to it that it's like, alright. This can be comedic because sometimes you have to laugh. Otherwise, you would just crumble and not age it.

Erin Hawley:

You know?

Tina Friml:

Like, I I see uncomfortable. Yeah. I don't know it.

Lily Newton:

Nice. That's a that's a good bit. And that that's really, like yeah. You just, like, see it's like someone's looking at you like a math problem to like solve. Like that's not. And it is like you do pick up on that and I think you make a good point, Erin. The, you gotta laugh or else it can kinda get get dark. Do you think for you, Tina, that like, was that part of your story in finding comedy at all? Like, do you think there was and I say this like projecting a little because for me, I definitely used comedy to, like, get through finding out I had autism and things like that.

Lily Newton:

So what's how does comedy tie into your, like, self identity?

Tina Friml:

Oh, a 100%. Like, it black and white. It would've actually people would get surprised when they tell them that, like, before comedy, I I would actually quite in denial. I did not wanna talk about being disabled. It went did it with semi in the west. I I really not, basically, when I have a kid, I'm like a teenager. I kinda kinda well, being different is the worst thing you could do. So I thought, you know well, at the very least, I I can pretend it's not there.

Tina Friml:

And cheerleading's not that bad. And comedy, you know, comedy was really the way completely turned my life around in terms of, not only radical self acceptance and even going a step further and and saying, here here I am putting myself out there to the masses. But I think also it just like, it really comedy, I always call it the spoonful sugar that people need to be able to hear about. The disabled experience without getting so bummed out. So you need the humor. Whenever these days, something says out and about, and I I get some interaction that's just questionable and someone tries something a little bit sideways to me thinking they're being helpful, but they're they're not before it would've ruined my day. They need to say them just more kind of like, oh my gosh. Write that down.

Tina Friml:

Get a pen. Where's a pen? Now, I'm paying my bills.

Lily Newton:

That's that's that's the the best thing you can do with with some casual ableism. I just turned it into a bag to secure. Does it have any other better place? Yeah.

Tina Friml:

No. It's like yeah. Yeah.

Erin Hawley:

It's like it's flinging evilest people, just turning it around instead of them it's fleeting us. Oh, it's fleeting.

Tina Friml:

I think yeah. I actually think that it's a perfect way to put it. It's like, well, because I do know that I do actually get problems on the Internet of people being, like, you know, I watch a lot of this. So kind of like is she exploiting herself, which is a very elegant. He is out again. That's a very interesting thought because, like, it is like, well, can you exploit yourself? Why you're completely a moron if it's yourself and something about you. And yeah. But but, I mean I mean, that that in itself was an interesting thought thought.

Erin Hawley:

But but I think, also, it's like, well, I don't feel like I'm explaining myself. I'm quite literally exploiting the able let's avoid. I mean, wanting you to see yourself.

Lily Newton:

Yeah. That is a really good way to put it. And, yeah, it's such an like, I you know, as a thought experiment it's like an interesting question, I suppose, but isn't that like comedy in general, like exploiting what you've been like, exploiting? Like, I say that with finger quotes because, like, you know, like, how many people's jokes come from, like, working through childhood trauma? Like, that's, like, such a big part of comedy. I think that's and, you know, we I think about, like, early women comedians who had to use the fact that, like, they were subjected to extreme misogyny and sexism. And, like, that is, you know, like, Carol Burnett's got so many early things about, like, just a sexy face, like, doing that, like, kind of that that's yeah. It's it's not exploiting yourself. It's exploiting the, like, societal expectations. And, you know, that is a joke to subvert expectation. And I think that, like, it's not our fault that people have such weird expectations for us as disabled people. Like, so we might as well make jokes out of it.

Tina Friml:

Right. Well, exactly. It's just kind of like it that is ex the the thing that I think bothered me about it was that what they comment or what they're like saying was just that you well, I mean, here is we are trying to get, you know, above above our situation. And, actually, what we are just doing is anything we're writing about we're talking about. We just happen to be doing it in the in the form of comedy. And it's almost that that, like when when you're saying, like, oh, but that's almost like self exploitation. It almost is, you know, the operating off of that mentality that that this is the thing this is a negative thing about about us. This is, an, a real othering that we're now trying to capitalize on, capitalize on a very bad situation.

Erin Hawley:

Yeah. Because in in my opinion, that's my definition of exploitation is capitalizing on, I guess, a very bad bad situation or a very vulnerable weak situation. And so it's kind of like self exploitation to say that no matter what, no matter how good your jokes are, it will be vulnerable and weak, and you are you are capitalizing on our tragedy. That is you. Yeah. And it was like, it's like you're already saying, Peter put disability into a box, and they don't wanna see it, and they don't wanna learn about it. So when you're confronted with disability, a lot of people think of it as, like you said, as exploitation, but it isn't. This is just us.

Lily Newton:

Yeah. In an episode we recorded for the season, we're talking to Galen Lee, and we were talking about how, you can see that people are, like, still scared at like, or still assuming disability is such a negative thing when you have the, like, Internet people who are like, don't say disability. Say Mhmm. Like, different ability or, like, the the, you know, the ways to not say disability. And in that episode, we brought up that, like, disability is a net neutral term. Like, it's just a state of being like, it's just what we it's the experience of our life. Like, so if you're saying we're like exploiting that, it doesn't really make like there's a it's just your story. There's nothing being exploited there. And I think that that's a really poignant thing. What you said, Tina, like that. How good do your jokes have to be to not be seen as like this week? Like that you're exploiting your weaknesses rather than just talking about your life. Yeah, it's an interesting comment.

I get, like, where they were coming from, I suppose. But I don't think that I don't think it actually comes from a place of, like, curiosity. I think it comes from a place of, like, wanting to shut something down. Like, wanting to be like, I caught you, disabled person, enjoying yourself. Like, how dare you?

Tina Friml:

Very. Well yeah. I mean and then that once they take when they call me, I tell you, I got really a little about it to my friends. And one of my friends just said, I love this. I love this conversation. I don't think the commenter meant meant any of this. I think the commenter was just being a dick. Like, you know, wanting to, you know, I mean, and and I I do I I actually do talk about this statement.

There are people, you know, out in the world that, I mean, they're they're actually very good people, but they, for whatever reason, they can't quite wrap their head around disability. They can't wrap their head around the nuances of it, and they they can't a 100% see what a person first. They they I know it shows up in my experience as there are people who I've tried to have many conversations with every time I ran into them, and they never quite talked to me, say, in a normal tone of voice. Or or they they never quite engaged in, in in the same level of communication when they engage, otherwise. Or or they're just super constantly, like, kinda accommodate every single thing that I I do near them. And it's, and like I say, it's not at all of them being ableist in any kind of way, but some people are just have, a harder time than others. Really, no before the disability no no matter what.

Lily Newton:

Yeah. Definitely. We we I've talked about this in making content for Easterseals in general of that, like, there are people who have this like. Yeah. It's like aversion to being able to accept it. And I think that there is a level of because disability is like one of the only identity statuses that you can enter at any point in your life. I think that there are people who are nondisabled that are, like, so in denial of the fact that they could ever go through anything that would result in a disability, be it just aging. Like, there's that kind of fear, I think.

So people just don't want to or aren't able to grasp it, which is, like, sad. I wish people would realize, like, they're making the big deal. Like, they're the actual well, they're, like, making it awkward. But I definitely oh my gosh. What you said about the changing tone of voice, that's, like, a big one where, you know, as soon as someone's voice goes from, like, talking normal to, like, hi, Lily. Like, I'm so happy you're here. I'm like, alright. Who told this bitch I'm autistic? Like, who said it? Like, I know someone did because their voice is an octave higher, and it wasn't like that.

It's just an odd thing. And I get it. It comes from a place of, like, maybe trying to be extra accommodating, but that is quite frustrating. So maybe. I think it's a thing we all deal with.

Tina Friml:

Mhmm. Yeah. 100%.

Lily Newton:

Not kind of shifting gears a little bit, I have a question. I saw that you recently decided that you were going to only book shows in accessible venues.

Tina Friml:

Yes. Yeah.

Lily Newton:

What what brought you to that decision, and how has tour planning been since making that decision?

Tina Friml:

So, yeah, we my my team and I kind of got into we'd already kind of walk this out of school that that, when we go to a new city, we want to opt more for, like, ADA compliant, though, accessible venue first. If not, no big deal, but we always ask. Like, I think from my end of things, like, I I always ask so that I can, you know, promote that on my on my poster and stuff like that. Like, oh, it's a month compliant. And then then one day one fine day, I went on tour, and I went in Denver. And I went to a little squint, moon called Denver Commonly Underground. It was in fact underground. It it was not either aching point.

We knew that going in. And, after all my shows, I love to talk to people. I love to do, I I guess, what, like, a meet and greet, take pictures and and talk to folks and sign things and, stuff like that. We had a great fashion of that. And towards the end, a lovely person came up and just said that was great. My partner is actually a big fan of yours, and they're hoping you could come say hi. I'm like, of course. Like, what? And and this person said, oh, they're actual so they are still in their seat, because they're actually wheelchair user, and they the wheelchair is left up at the top of the stairs, in in the entrance.

And what happened was the people from the audience to be, lifted down the stairs, by sheer, you know, manpower and and so they can sit in the audience and enjoy. And I was mortified. I was mortified. Like, I I spoke to them, and they were so happy. They they were, you know, resilient because that's late when you're when you're already disability, you are resilient. And and they're they were just so happy it worked out. And they were not the only ones at that show. It was they were they were, they were down the stairs by another person who was a parent of a young person who also had disability, also wanted to see my show, and was also being listed down there.

So it was kinda like, oh, well, we're already doing this. Let's get you down here. And I again, they they weren't so happy to be there, and I talked to them. And, yeah, I was just mortified. I my heart was so broken because no one should ever need to do that. And and on top of that, I I had told my manager that, and she equally would just so so so so bothered by this. So from that point forward, we we said, you know, we're only going to schedule my headlining show in ADA compliant venues and fully ADA compliant. So that means, the venue is technically accessible, but the bathrooms are not problem.

It's you know, we cannot be there. And so far, we, well, I I guess I can't talk because I'm not the one who books the shows like a few things. But, we haven't really been having a hard time finding great venues. It really depends on the city. Like, really like, there are some things that, unfortunately, just, are are very pleased, David, and they just I'll talk to locals, and they're not surprised at all that we had a hard time finding accessible venues, Montreal being one of them. And, you know, just well, I was in New Orleans, and we did find a very, very cool funky, compliant venue. But but, yeah, no, the the you know, some cities are better than others. And there has been, so far, 1 or 2 venues.

We booked it, and then we had to work with the booker and promoter Change the venue. Keep the same keep all the keep the same offer. Keep the same date, but change the venue to actually be a more compliant, area. And on top of that is also, some of these clubs are accessible, but we found out that people had to go ahead so that they had the elevator turned on. And that's no.

Lily Newton:

Why did you turn your elevator off?!

Tina Friml:

Why did you turn your elevator off! It's kind of like I know it's not my responsibility, but, yes, it is. Like, it is more of my responsibility than the person, trying to trying to buy a ticket and support my new Combinator career. Like, the they're they're, like, they should not need to call the venue to make sure that they can get it. That's us. So it's it's still, like, a growing a growing time process, but, but we was like, we never looked back. We never will look back. But all the little winery snafus, or extra steps that it takes is well beyond worth it.

Just I know, that everyone in there that wants to be in there because a lot of folks that do like like comedy, they like it because they can relate because they have disabilities. So it's just naturally, like, why wouldn't I want to have a party that everyone can can actually get to?

Lily Newton:

Yeah. I think that's just, like, incredible that you you and your teammate that choice and you're not looking back. I have to say, how wild is it that places will be like, we're we're accessible except for the bathroom. And it's like, have you ever met a human who doesn't use the bathroom? No.

Erin Hawley:

Oh, wait. They'll say, yeah. It's accessible. They can carry you your chair upstairs. My chair weighs 400 pounds. You're not gonna carry it.

Lily Newton:

And it's 1,000 of dollars. I'm not gonna let some people I don't know carry it. Like, that would be wild for you to let people know that.

Tina Friml:

That was the thing that that I thought of. Like, in Denver, they kept their chair at the top of the stairs, like, right near the door, and I was kind of like, who's watching that? Because that's a multi dollar chair. Yeah. I mean, there's so many factors. Just me that not okay.

Lily Newton:

Yeah. I think it's really awesome that you're doing that. And, like, you know, it's a it's a fine line as you're, like, starting a comedy career. You want to be in, like, whatever venues you can be in. But I think it's really incredible that you are at a place where, like, you're selling out venues. So there is a little bit of like. Power in there to be like, no, I'm going to reward the accessible venues and the venues that have prioritized accessibility are going to get a headliner who can sell it out. Like, that's, I think that's really important.

And I think that, like, Galen, actually, Galen Lane, the musician we had on recently talked to it's very similar. It's just like how how we owe that to each other as disabled people, that kind of like once we've got any leverage to make sure that the places we're in are prioritizing accessibility Even and, like, listeners, I think that that exactly what Tina said, that even goes for, like, a party. Like, if you're throwing a party, consider some accessibility measures. Like, figure that out and make sure your building's elevator is on.

Yeah. That's so wild. I didn't even I I wouldn't even think elevators could be turned off. Just seems like a brilliant idea.

Tina Friml:

It was something like that. Yeah. Yeah. I we didn't look into it. I don't know if it was a full full elevator or, like, a stair elevator, like a platform. But Wild.

Lily Newton:

Yeah. Well, before we go into our 3rd section, well, where we'll discuss Easterseals pillars, I do wanna ask, you were recently on Jimmy Fallon. What was that like?

Tina Friml:

Woah. That was incredible. So I actually got into so so I got on The Tonight Show because I happen to I I work at the Comedy Cellar, which is a very popular comedy club in the heart of Manhattan in New York City. And one night, I happened to be going up on stage. I looked to my left, and Jimmy Fallon is there. He and his, buddy, another fabulous colleague, wife, were, out dinner, Donald Spee. Comedy. And, I guess, somehow, they they agreed.

Let's stop at the cellar just to just to watch. Just to kind dip dip. I was in. And, I happen to be the 1, about to go on stages. Jimmy and I, you know, we hit it off with going up there because, I'm from Vermont. I I began comedy in Vermont, and she began comedy in upstate New York. And, basically, like, we're we're just planning a little bit about that. He says, we got so many stories.

But I I then had to, you know, say a phrase I I never thought would I had to say, I'm so sorry, Jimmy. I have to go on stage now. He's like, yeah. I'll go kill it. He knows that my mom and dad happened to be in the room when that happened. So this was all, yeah, like, extreme serendipity. Yeah. And, so I get up there and so on.

I'm trying to get the best, comedy I can get for my mom and my dad and Jimmy's family. And, and it went it went great, and I I actually, in the middle of it, saw Jimmy, sitting in the middle of of the show. He's actually snuck in and enjoyed my set. So, thanks to my team and his team kinda jumping on it the next day while reading. I I was able to go, onto the tonight show, but 2, two and a half weeks after that. And it was just spectacular. Like, it was really just such a great experience. The staff there was so accommodating.

I really I I was kinda expecting because I'm not, I'm not a, a famous person, in the way that, the the other the other guests, like Scarlett Johansson and Hunter Schafer were totally, understandably expecting I'm gonna be shuffled in and shovel that, and it will be great. But no. I they I could hang out. I got my own dressing room. My mom and dad and my friend Maddie were there. Jimmy came around and hung out with us. It was really, really great. And, like, no one thing in what was that is, like, no one know they didn't tell me until afterwards that the the studio audience, the Jimmy Fallon tonight show, is not really a stand up comedy audience.

They're just a group of people. Midwest, no offense. They they they're all they just like, they might but the demographic is none. There is no demographic. Really, I I think that the only thing that tied together the people that make up Jimmy Fallon tonight show is that if you 1 by 1 went and asked if they wanted to go to a stand up comedy show, they would say, no. Oh, man. So you know I am, you know, my television debut. It's obviously you know? I I'm I'm exaggerating.

They loved it. But, they would you know, there were some jokes that, like, normally hit that like, you know, like, being clean and and and so I got I heard nothing. The only thing that I heard was Jimmy behind me and was dying laughing. Like like, okay. I'm doing it for him. It would it would it would spread.

Lily Newton:

I'll put make one person in the room laugh, might as well be Jimmy Fallon.

Tina Friml:

They cut they they came and just cut to him twice within 5 minutes. Just like it's almost like Jimmy inviting that one friend over to his house party because he just loves them. Yeah. It was great. It was really, really, I mean, cliche, but it really was a dream come true. Like, I to this day, I can't believe that really happened.

Lily Newton:

Yeah. I mean, congrats. It was I I've watched that beef even before we knew you were coming on the podcast, I've watched that clip, like, 40 times. And, I I love when late night people have comedians on. It's, like, one of my favorites. And you certainly could not tell that you did not have a very receptive audience because it's a really good set. It's a really good set.

Tina Friml:

I think I played it off pretty well.

Lily Newton:

Yeah. Very, very well. Yeah. Well, Go ahead.

Tina Friml:

One one thing that was at one point, I I didn't plan on doing this, but, like, when a joke didn't quite hit, like, a reference, and I, you know, I just said, well, here, I'll explain the joke. And kinda on a whim, I I said, I'll explain the joke because it's a good joke. I'm on here for a reason. Like, isn't it? That that was

Lily Newton:

You didn't plan that?

Tina Friml:

No.

Lily Newton:

Oh my gosh. I've seen this so many times. I absolutely thought you wrote that in on purpose.

Tina Friml:

That was like I I watched it back, and it was obviously all a blur. I watched it back, and, like, I've never felt more, like, iconic in my I was like, why you said that? I said that. Like, that was a perfect thing to say, and I said that.

Lily Newton:

Yeah. It was perfect. I know exactly what what you're talking about, and it is a really funny joke. Oh, and but that I absolutely would have thought that if I saw you in a different set, you would say that every single time because it worked so well. I'm like, I'm here for a reason. Like, so so badass. And I think that more disabled people that get to be in places where we should get to be need to have that in their vocabulary, like, I'm here for a reason.

Tina Friml:

Yeah. Well yeah. I mean, that's exactly clear. Whenever I have imposter syndrome, which tend to happen a lot in what I do, really is, you know, I always think back to, like, don't ask yourself why you're here. Show them why you're here. Like, you're here for a reason. So show them why.

Erin Hawley:

I love that.

Lily Newton:

Yeah.

Erin Hawley:

That's like the perfect saying.

Lily Newton:

That's a really good mindset thing. And I think imposter syndrome, like, I it's such a human thing. And, Erin, I know you and I now are gonna say that to each other when we're, like, working on a a writing thing and, like, second guessing ourselves. We, like, show them show them why we were asked to do this. That's really good. Mhmm. Mhmm. I love that.

Well, we have a little bit of time left, and we like to end the interview with our 3rd section, which is, you know, this is an Easterseals podcast. Thank you to Easterseals for obviously allowing us to make this podcast and have amazing experiences like this. It's very cool that Erin and I get to do this as our job. And Easterseals is working towards equity and access when it comes to community, health, education, employment. What am I missing here? Transportation and education, and, it's a lot of things because Easterseals is doing a lot. And, so we just kind of like to talk to our guests about those pillars. And, one thing I wanted to especially talk about when we talk about transportation, travel is something that, like, I don't think nondisabled people necessarily have a grasp on how difficult it can be to meet your own needs while traveling, so a huge part of being a comedian and growing your career is touring and traveling to new cities. How have you been able to accommodate your needs while also in, like, touring and doing that part of being a comedian?

Tina Friml:

Well, it's, it's definitely been you know, I I like I said, nobody expected to be in a position where I travel a lot. And and on top of that, I, often, I travel alone, so I am the one carrying my big suitcases. I am the one navigating everything, which well, I can do with my entire, and I think it would normally be. I know I know that, you know, I began to see finding out even in the last year, I began to to see, like, just ever so slightly more accommodations at the airport, which is nice. You know, I I often the airport is one of the only places where I actually opt for, accommodations even though I don't walk in, like, need to have them, but they are extremely helpful to have. The preboarding, you know, having help with my suitcase, that kind of thing. And whereas I even in the past year, and maybe it just had to do with what airport I was at. But I found that, it was to find those accommodations, you would really have to go further out of your way.

And and there weren't any accommodations, say, when it came to, like, TSA and stuff like that. Again, it might totally have to do with what airport it was. But but, recently, I have been seeing, not only more, like, more openly available accommodations, but I've been finding people at airports. I actually train pretty well on how to accommodate, how to ask what they need. I have heard a whole lot of stories about people who are wheelchair users, having their chair be pretty battered. So that's not an experience that I can really talk about. But in my own experience, I've at least found, you know, employees are slowly, I think, that they're actually starting to level up in their accommodations.

Lily Newton:

Yeah. I think that's a good and necessary thing. That's certainly that's something that Easterseals is we have a big campaign on trying to make air travel more accessible because exactly what you said, the, like 31 wheelchairs a day get broken or some just outrageous statistic that. But, you know, it does take small steps. And we are seeing, like, certain airlines that, have done things like trainings and trying to have just more accommodations available in the airport. I know that there are certain airports, like internationally that have, like, sensory rooms for people to go into or, like, there's, like, the sunflower badge things that people can wear that show that they have, like, a non apparent disability and things like that. So, like, we're getting there, which is is good. Disability and things like that. So, like, we're getting there, which is is good, but I think that, we've got a long way to go. So it's good that we're you're you're able to use what accommodations are available because airports are confusing and, like, very stressful.

They are very confusing and stressful. Yeah. And and then the funny thing, like, once I say this, you might never not see so I'm sorry. But, like, a lot of comedians have material to do with airports. Airports, airplanes, and and hotel rooms. And that's because they're so light. Like, it's what we do. So yeah.

I think that's, you know, that's, like, one of the things when we talk about air travel, like, whenever we bring up that that's the thing that Easterseals is working for. Like, it people think air travel and they think, like, luxury or just, like, vacation, frivolous kind of travel, but like, there are so many jobs that, like, in this world take a ton of travel. And I think about, like, how many opportunities people can't partake in if travel is not accessible. So I think that it's a really important thing, like, to have accessible travel and we'll have more you know, I'm sure there's lots of cool comedians out there who, like, maybe haven't been able to picture themselves being a comedian, because it's of inaccessibility of things like travel. So, yeah, I think that that's just a necessary thing.

Tina Friml:

I always say that, like, you know, being I think comedian, like, writing jokes and performing is, like, 5% of what you do. It's it's a real it really is. It is like, it is everything. It's you gotta get your cell phone placed to place to place to place. Looking at your email. Oh, yes. Like, making sure you've got you've got your headliner. And and, like, just it really like, a one man show, and he's hard for anyone. But, the, yeah, the the somewhat ironic element that, like, here I am going around, performing and talking a lot about kind of, like, my disability and stuff. And and it's like a it's like a triathlon. Yeah. For me to manage to get in, like, my exercise.

Lily Newton:

I'd like to ask one last question, which comes from the fact that, you know, comedy for a long time has been a world of nondisabled, straight, white men. And in terms of seeing the comedy industry become more inclusive, what would you say to someone out there who wants to pursue comedy but doesn't see a place for them in the comedy world yet? What would you say to them?

Tina Friml:

You know, all engines is pretty honestly I think, like, these days, there are actually real great comedians out there. I'm just 1, and and they're different. You know, there are a handful that have cerebral palsy. There are some great comedians who have Tourette syndrome, Benning Feldman and Pam Schuller. There are, some of the great comics in wheelchairs. We are actually targeting footprint. And, really, I mean, thanks to the power Internet and the power of the booming reels and TikTok and social media, that that kinda comedy is now accessible. I I always interview I got into comedy in a very safe environment and the comedy scene in Burlington, Vermont.

It was really great comedy coming out of them, but, also, it really was more of a friend community who who just constantly lifting each other up doing comedy. And I would that was where I was able to develop myself rather than in, like, New York City where you're more trying to make it into a career. And, there is a level of competitiveness and high mistakes. And, I, you know, I I always say that being a disabled comedian, It it and, it's very similar way to being a a female comedian. Is, like, there certainly are, like, drawbacks. You are going to get underestimate this when you work in the room until you hit you you have to need to prove yourself on that stage. You're not going to be more you you're going to feel like you're underestimated until you show off, until you preview yourself, basically. And then there's The way it is.

So there are drawbacks. However, you know, there there are, ways that me being, with a disability benefit me. They get me in the room, which, otherwise, I might not be able to get into as, you know, straight cis white man. You rise just based on the differences that you have. You you you gain more more attention. And the way that I put it is in getting to you in the room, but then you would need to prove yourself once you're in that room. So I I have always viewed disability in comedy as, in in this day and age, of a double edged sword for me. And that it it does you know, I I do feel like I have to I have to really be I have to really excel to write the best jokes, just to keep up with the other the other element that I'm kind of facing head on, which is my disability.

I always say I strive to not be a disabled comic. I strive to be a comic who have a who have a disability. And and so all that all that said, all that wrapped up in in the framework of advice is to really find, a great community to start comedy in. I I actually also started because I took a stand up comedy class, and that's how I got the confidence to, you know, begin the first month of comedy. On top of that, so accept the challenge. Accept accept the challenge of rising to the occasion, embracing the the fact you're going to be underestimated, and revel in the ability, in the confidence that you have that you can get on stage and prove them wrong.

Lily Newton:

Yeah. Nothing will fuel you quite like spite and, like, proving someone wrong.

Tina Friml:

Yeah.

Lily Newton:

Great. Yeah. Like or feel free to underestimate me. It'll just give me more to go on. That's awesome.

Tina Friml:

Yeah. So I'm only cold into that fire.

Lily Newton:

Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Tina. This has been a phenomenal interview, and I'm just so excited that we got to talk to you. And if before you go, if you want to tell our listeners upcoming tour dates or how they can follow you and get into your comedy.

Tina Friml:

Yeah. 100%. I am going on the road. I will well, next month, in May, I'm going to, be going into Kansas City, Saint Louis on May 1st 2nd. I I'm also going to Las Vegas on May 14th, Salt Lake City on May 16th, and I'm also coming out to LA on May 9th. I'll be in New York City, June 12th. Well, so I'm going all over the place. Next next fall, I'm doing everywhere.

I'll be, in Portland, Seattle, going back to Phoenix. I'm doing a hall tour all around Florida. So I'm just I I'm everywhere. And you can look at all my dates. All the tickets are on sale right now. If you find me on Instagram or TikTok or wherever. All the tickets are right on my bio.

Lily Newton:

And listeners will have that linked in the episode description, so you can just check out right under this video and get yourself some tickets and enjoy a show in an accessible venue. Well, thank you so much, Tina, Erin, always a pleasure to host with my buddy. And listeners, we'll see you next time on another episode of everything you know about disability is wrong.

Erin Hawley:

If you like what you heard, go ahead and subscribe and leave us a review wherever you get your podcasts.

Lily Newton:

Thank you to our listeners. And as always, thank you to Easter Seals for giving us the space and resources to share such authentic conversations from within the disability community to our listeners.

Erin Hawley:

And I'll see you next time for another episode of everything you know about disability is wrong. Everything you know about disability is wrong.

Lily Newton (commercial segment):

This is a podcast brought to you by Easterseals.

Erin Hawley(commercial segment):

You know, we actually work for Easterseals, but maybe our listeners don't know what we do.

Lily Newton(commercial segment):

That's true. Easterseals is leading the way to full access, equity, and inclusion for disabled people and their families.

Erin Hawley(commercial segment):

And did you know we've been doing this for more than a century?

Lily Newton(commercial segment):

This includes helping disabled people find meaningful employment and addressing health care needs for all ages.

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We're proud to serve communities across the country and ready for the next 100 years. For more, check out easterseals.com.